He had the balls to admit to contracting HIV to a merciless and misinformed American media, putting to bed the mythical "Hollywood Suparstar's Desperate Battle with AIDS" (way to go, Radar Online) . By the way, how much longer are we going to take professionals flamboyantly mistaking HIV and AIDS (Howard Stern, please rise)?
I'd also like to know when we got so dick deep in judging others that we abandoned our compassion? Seriously. Seriously! Where the fuck is our compassion? Because, I didn't hear it in that shitty Howard Stern interview, and I can't find it on my Facebook page. I had a longtime friend post a status that reiterated the shame and judgment hijacking almost every conversation about the contraction of HIV (he actually used the term, "Dirty needles and whores" in correlation with those affected by HIV/AIDS. He is evil and he must be destroyed).
The New Out
Love of my life (in my head) Danny Pintauro said it best; HIV is the new closet. Admitting a positive HIV status in this era is the equivalent of a gay man's rite-of-passage; coming out of the closet. From the drum roll, right down to the misguided "how will this affect our children" babble. The outcome, clearly, will differ. However, the blueprint for a public coming-out is nearly identical. You get the interview. You get the magazine cover. You get the round of applause. You get the public shaming. And, you get to stand by and watch the most intimate parts of your life and sexual behavior dissected and judged before your very own eyes.
I see HIV/AIDS advocates with the same precarious we-need-a-leader look in their eyes that I've grown desensitized to. Because, in the black community, that look has been present since the day the Reverend died. For each rise of a prominent figure in the center of any fight, is the fall of someone who gets demoted to what they could have been. Whether it's Caitlyn, or Danny, or Charlie, they come out to a lot of pressure. Pressure to speak up. Pressure to show up. Pressure to get it right. And when they don't measure up to our defining-as-we-go standards, we knock 'em down. Crabs in a barrel, I tell ya'.
Blind Reporting
"I want to know, do you...do you take responsibility for your actions, for being promiscuous, going into a lifestyle of having heightened sex...?"
The biggest detriment that stems from our ragtag media circuit is that it's stalling our need to spread information and resources. Long story short, the media isn't ready. If the American people are scared straight when it comes to HIV anything, then the American media is scared stupid. Howard Stern doesn't know the difference from HIV and AIDS (fact-checkers, anyone?) and Candace from Full House wants to know if you've repented for being naughty. What is going on?! This is the time to educate. I've seen better reporting from The Onion and the New York Post (literally).
Charlie gave us so much to talk about that morning. Like, how alcohol and substance abuse spike the risk factors of contracting HIV. How mental health has strong ties to substance abuse. This is an amazing opportunity for us to drop our systematic, incorrect views on the virus and use a more adult, tactical approach to how we treat HIV prevention and infection. This is what we should be talking about. This is what we need to be talking about. But, of course, we get caught up trying to figure out how many grams Danny smoked, and how many prostitutes Charlie ran through. People walk away with no real, fruitful insight on the issues. Slaves to the stigma. As Peter Staley puts it, "The stigma has made the front end work frustratingly inefficient. It always comes down to the stigma."
If American society had the intellect to discuss the behavior of Charlie Sheen in correlation with HIV contraction, this would be an entirely different discussion. Unfortunately, the intellect is lacking so the progression has stalled. If there's any doubt about this fact, simply check the comment section of any article written on Charlie Sheen (like this one). You'll find it infested with bad humor and heartless judgment. People who attack Charlie Sheen for having HIV don't talk about him like he's a person. People talk about him with free range to take shots at his health, his future, and his livelihood, like this dick. They talk about him the same exact way they talk about anyone who's contracted HIV. It's a fucking shame.
He Had it coming
What do you say to a stage-four lung cancer patient who used to smoke a pack a day? Do you say, "Ha! That's what you get! What were you thinking?" If the judgment and ridicule overrides a person's medical condition, than the person doing the judging is an asshole. There's no such thing as a disease deserved. Every time you cast shame and judgment on anyone for their medical condition (mental, clinical, acquired, etc.), you're playing for the wrong team. And, scaring people from getting tested, protected, and educated on their health. True story.
If the "that's what happens" adage is a nod to his colorful sexual past, than you are absolutely right. Contracting HIV is certainly something that can happen when you engage in unprotected sex, and disregard sexually transmitted diseases (and other consequences. Like babies). But, just to be clear, only half of young adults are using condoms on a consistent basis. Should we treat the other half that's at a higher-risk than their peers like many morons are treating Charlie, because that's what happens? Compassion? Anybody?
Why should anyone feel sorry for that degenerate? He's no hero!
When I talk about Charlie Sheen today, I could give two-shits about who he was yesterday. His penchant for fast drugs, good times, and long nights are not unlike my own. No, I never paid for a whore. But, I sure did enjoy brushing arms with them. And, I use(d) to do a lot of drugs. Drugs that provoke a slew of bad decisions and risky behavior. I haven't contracted HIV like Sheen. But, that doesn't make me better or smarter. It just makes me (dare I say it) lucky. What if I did have HIV though? Would you just throw me out to pasture, forget you ever knew me? Would you tell me I had it coming? Would you think my karma caught up with me? If so, I would ask you, "Where the fuck is your compassion?"
Don't trust anybody who's got the guile to tell you who deserves what - not even yourself. Rest assured, sooner or later, we will all find ourselves on the losing side of compassion. Maybe you'll get fired for screwing up, or a suspended license for a DUI, or your lover will leave you because they're tired of your shit. Whatever it is, the other shoe is going to drop. You're going to realize you don't know it all. It's going to dawn on you that, perhaps, you played it all wrong. And then, that's when you'll have some empathy for the Charlie's in the world. I say, don't wait for the other shoe to drop. Muster up some compassion and logic now.
The bottom line is that we're living in an era that has yet to properly address and get a handle on how we're going to deal with HIV/AIDS moving forward. We can't afford to pick and choose who we support in the HIV/AIDS community. We can't afford to pass up the opportunity to educate and inform a generation that treats a fucking plague like an ancient, common cold. And, we most certainly cannot afford to not give a round of applause to any human (no matter what past precedes them) who has balls big enough to tell the world he's positive on national TV. Thanks to Charlie, the conversation is full-throttle. People are talking, and they're learning, honey! He may not be a hero to many due to his past discretions, bu,t make no mistake, admitting to being HIV positive in this country is a very brave thing to do.
It's going to be a very long, very winding road to getting American media and society to treat HIV treatment, prevention, and patients with the respect and facts deserved.
In the end, we'll never know why the good Lord would tap on a womanizing degenerate like Charlie Sheen to be the latest messenger. What we know to be true is that there's been enough divide in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Like it or not, he's on our team now.
